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Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

© Anonymous

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This article has 2187 comments.

DylanRock GOLD said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 5:38 pm
DylanRock GOLD, Cork, Other
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I think maybe the metaphor of the chain is a strong one which pushes more towards prisoner than caring for safety, I'm unsure whether this is deliberate though.
DylanRock GOLD said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 5:36 pm
DylanRock GOLD, Cork, Other
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Good writing. Personally though, I didn't like it. I felt I couldn't relate to it but that's just me. Saying that, it was written well. Well done on its success here!
Gracious PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 2:47 pm
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Stop doingthis
babygirl576 PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 12:43 pm
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It doesnt make sense sorry, i like it, believe me i do, but it lost me half way through
ral97 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 9:46 am
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Wow this is AMAZING!! I love it. It really makes you think about it.
chris0911 said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 8:28 am
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check out old dusty flag
bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 4 2011 at 7:10 am
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hmm good point. but maybe he did know what he was doing and was a little to over protective? could that be it???
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I think that in the father's mind, he was keeping the son safe from falling, but in reality, he was keeping him prisoner and didn't realize.
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Just to be honest guys, this is like my fave poem i've read on here. its amazing (: love it lots
bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 1 2011 at 8:02 pm
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
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yea I was also wondering wether if the father was trying to keep prisoner..well either way this is very good.
Emmy88 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 1 2011 at 6:31 pm
Emmy88 BRONZE, New Rochelle, New York
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He is trying to keep hime safe by keeping him chained letting him go thn tying him back

 

live.laff.love said...
on Oct. 30 2011 at 6:05 pm
this is verry intrestin..it makes me ponder
youngspeare BRONZE said...
on Oct. 30 2011 at 1:17 pm
youngspeare BRONZE, Nairobi, Other
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Great piece. 
ThePeaceDaisy BRONZE said...
on Oct. 30 2011 at 12:31 am
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How many times is this being posted????
TaurusGal GOLD said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 11:42 pm
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Simply amazing!!!!!!!!
A_Jean PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 9:46 pm
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I think it's really good. I like the line about the birdie, I don't see why people don't. It kinda leads into what you're saying about wanting to fly. Could you read my work and tell me what you think? ;)
MANGALOVER33 BRONZE said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 7:23 pm
MANGALOVER33 BRONZE, BROOKFIELD, Illinois
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I'm kind of lost on the fact if 'father' is trying to keep you safe or trying to keep you prisoner. It depends on how you interpret the poem, but I wanted to hear it from the author! Great work! Your poem really evokes thought.
Gingersnap777 said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 3:04 pm
Interesting, and very rhythmic--it had a nice flow to it.  Great work!
Crystalkendra SILVER said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 12:05 pm
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I like it very vivide I liked the end it had a double meaning I loved it thank you for putting it up so I could read it!
PaulMental GOLD said...
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The end has such a great "a-ha!" moment!