Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2187 comments.


DylanRock GOLD said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 5:38 pm
DylanRock GOLD, Cork, Other
10 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

I think maybe the metaphor of the chain is a strong one which pushes more towards prisoner than caring for safety, I'm unsure whether this is deliberate though.

DylanRock GOLD said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 5:36 pm
DylanRock GOLD, Cork, Other
10 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

Good writing. Personally though, I didn't like it. I felt I couldn't relate to it but that's just me. Saying that, it was written well. Well done on its success here!

on Nov. 8 2011 at 2:47 pm
Gracious PLATINUM, Go Away, Kansas
22 articles 0 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;life sucks and then you die, yeah, i should be so lucky&quot;<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> -Jacob, Twilight<br /> <br /> I&rsquo;m still that girl who falls when she runs, Getting back up, because falling is fun.

Stop doingthis

on Nov. 8 2011 at 12:43 pm
babygirl576 PLATINUM, Marion, Michigan
34 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
You lied, and I cried. You&#039;re a jerk, so I was hurt. You&#039;re a<br /> deceiver, But I was a believer. Sorry I wasted your time, I guess?

It doesnt make sense sorry, i like it, believe me i do, but it lost me half way through

ral97 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 9:46 am
ral97 BRONZE, Audubon, Iowa
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
I&#039;m the farmers daughter your momma warned you bout.

Wow this is AMAZING!! I love it. It really makes you think about it.

chris0911 said...
on Nov. 8 2011 at 8:28 am
chris0911, Lawton, Oklahoma
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
The wild honey suckle, &quot;Smit with those charms, they must decay/I greive to see your future doom/ they decay-nor were those flowers more gay/the flower that did eden bloom.&quot;

check out old dusty flag

bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 4 2011 at 7:10 am
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dont forget the bad. learn from it.

hmm good point. but maybe he did know what he was doing and was a little to over protective? could that be it???

Jessbug SILVER said...
on Nov. 3 2011 at 7:06 pm
Jessbug SILVER, Jersey City, New Jersey
9 articles 22 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.&rdquo;<br /> &mdash;Ernest Hemingway

I think that in the father's mind, he was keeping the son safe from falling, but in reality, he was keeping him prisoner and didn't realize.

on Nov. 3 2011 at 4:02 pm
HoldingFast GOLD, Plano, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If I wasn&#039;t meant to fly, I wouldn&#039;t have these wings&quot;

Just to be honest guys, this is like my fave poem i've read on here. its amazing (: love it lots

bubbles.. said...
on Nov. 1 2011 at 8:02 pm
bubbles.., Warren, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dont forget the bad. learn from it.

yea I was also wondering wether if the father was trying to keep prisoner..well either way this is very good.

Emmy88 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 1 2011 at 6:31 pm
Emmy88 BRONZE, New Rochelle, New York
1 article 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You miss 100% of the shots you don&#039;t take.&quot;-Wayne Gretzky

He is trying to keep hime safe by keeping him chained letting him go thn tying him back

 


on Oct. 30 2011 at 6:05 pm
this is verry intrestin..it makes me ponder

on Oct. 30 2011 at 1:17 pm
youngspeare BRONZE, Nairobi, Other
1 article 0 photos 273 comments

Favorite Quote:
We wouldn&#039;t ask a rose that grew from the concrete for having damaged petals; in turn we&#039;d all celebrate its tenacity, we&#039;d all love tz will to reach the sun well we are the roses n these are my damaged petals don&#039;t ask me why thank God and ask me how

Great piece. 

on Oct. 30 2011 at 12:31 am
ThePeaceDaisy BRONZE, Albany, New York
4 articles 5 photos 223 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;Laundry is the only thing that should be separated by color.&rdquo; - Unknown<br /> I will change this every week!

How many times is this being posted????

TaurusGal GOLD said...
on Oct. 28 2011 at 11:42 pm
TaurusGal GOLD, Hong Kong, Other
13 articles 25 photos 107 comments
Simply amazing!!!!!!!!

on Oct. 28 2011 at 9:46 pm
A_Jean PLATINUM, Citrus Heights, California
40 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;we all carry these things inside that no one else can see. they hold us down like anchors and they drown us out at sea.&quot;<br /> &quot;i&#039;m trying to figure out which parts of my personality are mine and which ones I created to please you&quot;

I think it's really good. I like the line about the birdie, I don't see why people don't. It kinda leads into what you're saying about wanting to fly. Could you read my work and tell me what you think? ;)

on Oct. 28 2011 at 7:23 pm
MANGALOVER33 BRONZE, BROOKFIELD, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;What you&#039;ve said can&#039;t be undone&quot; The Fray

I'm kind of lost on the fact if 'father' is trying to keep you safe or trying to keep you prisoner. It depends on how you interpret the poem, but I wanted to hear it from the author! Great work! Your poem really evokes thought.

on Oct. 28 2011 at 3:04 pm
Interesting, and very rhythmic--it had a nice flow to it.  Great work!

on Oct. 28 2011 at 12:05 pm
Crystalkendra SILVER, Pentwater, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; God gave you shoes to fit you, so put &#039;em on and wear &#039;em, be your self man, be proud of who you are&quot; - Eminem <br /> &quot;The question is not who you should be, it&#039;s how do YOU want to be remembered?&quot; - Lisa White

I like it very vivide I liked the end it had a double meaning I loved it thank you for putting it up so I could read it!

on Oct. 28 2011 at 11:36 am
PaulMental GOLD, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
10 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;It&#039;s amazing what can be accomplished when no one cares who gets the credit.&quot;

The end has such a great "a-ha!" moment!