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Daddy's Womb MAG
April 23, 2008
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.
So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.
i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.
The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.
i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.
i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.
© Anonymous
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This article has 2185 comments.
davemac said...
on Sep. 23 2008 at 1:25 pm
love the poem.
renie said...
on Sep. 23 2008 at 1:22 pm
reminds me of my relationship with my dad...good work.
sammyboi23 said...
on Aug. 8 2008 at 2:55 am
AWESOME POEM!
AlcoholHarmony said...
on Aug. 7 2008 at 4:12 am
Hey Carl, I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed your poem. It reminds me of a personal experience. Keep up the Good Job.
kelli said...
on Aug. 6 2008 at 1:24 pm
Hi Carl, my name is Kelly. I've just finished reading your poem, and I wanted to say that I loved the slant ryhme, and the way in which you went about creating the stanzas. It reminds me of Emily Dickinson, in a way. Keep it up. I don't know what grade you're in, but if you're in college you should start looking at literary magazines to send your work to instead of just teen ink. I don't even know why they would put this on teen ink raw - probably because of the lower case, but I know you know what you were doing. The "i" reprsents the relationship between the speaker and his father.
