Hell, she’s my mother and I love her to pieces
but I can’t stand when she’s wasted
and I can’t believe that she can’t see this…
I know in my soul that I don’t want to be this
a fiend, an addict, or however you perceive it.
I could’ve chose that path but I steered off the road.
Instead of popping pills I’m choking tears down my throat.

She’s dope sick again
can’t watch her kids because she’s too ill.
Nothing in this world matters more to her
than those damn pills...
I tried to run away, and stay away from “home”
but I had to be a grown-up
couldn’t leave the kids alone.
No, she’s not abusive but she’s downright neglectful.
Honesty hurts but I won’t hear that I’m disrespectful.

She tried to take her life
swallowed her whole stash at once.
Cps took the kids away
Is this what God wants?
Feels like I’ve been here 100 years
I just turned 14.
Got too much time to spare now
wondering what it all means...
I had to be the grown-up.
I parented my parent.
Don’t even know how to be a kid
and nobody is aware of it.
I’ve eaten at homeless shelters so the kids could have a full meal.
The shelter’s closed on weekends
so then I started to steal.
I felt ashamed but my struggle was real.
My mom couldn’t listen and soon I couldn’t feel.

I swear she’s half dead.
Now I’m ¾ an orphan.
So many words that I left unspoken.
I try to show I love her but I’m too heartbroken.

Years later, she’s clean and I hope God has forgiven.
I may have missed out
but she’s mothering her two young children.
I’m so happy for them
I have no resentment.
I could hold a grudge that I grew up too soon
but it only hurts if I let it.
The only times I pray
are when I pray that she won’t relapse.
I still check that she’s breathing every time that she naps.
Just the thought of pills makes me ill
and she knows it.
I guess I’m the one who’s really truly
DOPE SICK.