Thoughts are swirling in my head
Heart still yearning for love instead
All I’ve been and all I’ve known
Slice it all apart

At my very best and very worst
I don’t even know it hurts
I’m sidelined and petrified
Or mollified and feeling fine

But despite all your deepest hopes,
Wishes for a hand to hold
I’m drowning here within myself
Shoved inside a little shell

Hell, ain’t it? People think I made it
Mental illness my affliction
Friction rubbing at my psyche
It’s like there’s no one else like me

Depression’s pressing in all over
Fingers and toes, and desperation and woes
You know I’m done with the loath-ing

Thoughts are swirling in my head
Heart still yearning for love instead
All I’ve been and all I’ve known
Slice it all apart


Eye the knife across the room
Top drawer, I know I’ll have it soon
13th birthday gift, my a**
Might as well be in my pocket

Cuz I know that while the pain’s acute
The illness is chronic,
Sardonic, ain’t it? Can’t get up
But up ain’t any better

Drag the blade across my skin
Feel it, feel it, feel it going in
But knowing that external pain
Will keep me from going insane

Never helps though, does it?
Always fall back into misery
My history of sadness, have you
Ever even looked at me?

Thoughts are swirling in my head
Heart still yearning for love instead
All I’ve been and all I’ve known
Slice it all apart

Remains of my normality
Calamity, set out to be
Better, bolder than before
Trying, vying, always more

Time to drop all expectations
Make some room for extrication
From this situation
Complication’s overrated – stop

Consider this my final warning
There’s no bringing me down
So keep your feet on the ground
Excuse me while I resound

No compromise, no evil eyes
I’m stronger than you could surmise
Surprise, I’m still standing
So much sharper than my pocketknife

Thoughts are swirling in my head
Heart still yearning for love instead
All I’ve been and all I’ve known
Slice it all apart