You’re not supposed to hurt me
You were supposed to love me
Your job was to cherish me
And to take care of me
Instead you did the opposite

I remember a day where you locked dad out of the house
He came up to me in the window and begged to be let in
My nine year old mind agreed and unlocked the door
But I didn’t know he would pack up his stuff and leave
Slamming the door and yelling out behind him
“your mother is a psycho”

That sentence never registered to me
But now, six years later, it explains a lot
After you found out he left
You interrogated your three youngest
Shouting out profanities and making everyone terrified of you
Your face was red and your hands shook with anger

I confessed it was me who unlocked the door
Little did I know the hell you were about to put me through
You grabbed me by the shirt and shoved me into my room
My eyes became wet as I got on my knees and begged you not to hurt me
But you didn’t listen, you never listened

The slap and punches that came from the hand that was supposed to hold mine
Is permanently stuck in my brain
Your shouting about my worthlessness
Will resonate with me forever
But you didn’t stop there

In fact, you never did stop
For years before and months after that you hurt me
I thought you were supposed to love me
Why can’t you love me?
Am I unlovable?