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Stress
They said stay in school.
Well of course. I'm not a truant.
I grew up inside a box called "formal education" and I cannot see outside of it no matter how hard I try.
Wake up. School. Go home. Do your homework. Wake up, school, repeat.
They said keep your grades up.
Well of course. I'm not ignorant.
If I don't keep up my grades then I won't stand out to colleges.
Everything I do is to improve my college application.
I stress in school in order to get into a better school in order to get into a better school. A never-ending cycle of work with no relief.
They said don't let social obligations get in your way.
Well of course. School is much more important.
So I stay at home and study. I stay at home and work. I stay inside the box I grew up in and I stress.
They said be independent.
Well of course. I could never get anywhere in life otherwise.
So I got a job. And I kept the job. And I keep working. I pave my own way--every day.
They said relax.
They said make friends.
They said socialize.
They said take some time for yourself.
Well of course
not. This doesn't make any sense. The box I grew up in taught me to be logical, so I worked through it in my head:
I cannot relax and work hard in school.
I cannot make friends but never prioritize them.
I cannot socialize and keep my grades up.
I cannot take time for myself or the colleges won't see all impressive information on my application.
You can't list making friends as a special skill. You can't list relaxation as a reference. 8 hours of sleep a night is not an extra-curricular activity. 3 meals a day does not equate to a 4.0.
They said stay in school.
Well of course.
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This is the first poem I have ever written. I was inspired to write this piece after I had yet another panic attack. As I lay in my bed, my breathing uneven and labored, I thought of all the people who continue to "inspire" me. They say the same monotonous statements: stay in school, keep your grades up, just focus on getting to college.
Those statements have become my daily mantra. Although I recognize the importance of education, I also clearly see how this "box" we grow up in can cause mental health issues and unnecessary stress. This piece is meant to bring light to those problems.