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To the Deep End
And it was his eyes I caught first
A sharp piercing blue that my deep brown eyes wanted to be filled with
It was the type of blue that puts the sky to shame
The type of blue that makes the sea seem so weak and unimpressive
It was his voice that was next
Not that of a shrill bell or that of rumbling thunder, but of the last whispers of the wind
Heaven’s Choir was suddenly a burden to listen to, it can’t compete with him
And in getting lost in his words, I realized just how deep in the woods I was
And month after month I only burned more
Every action calculated, I wanted to catch his eyes, the same way his eyes caught me
And when I finally earned my spot as “friend,” I sunk further away from reason and logic
I was drowning, but the water was just too warm to escape.
When l was first texted at 2:00 AM, I knew something was amiss
When he told me we had to talk, I grew too confident
I watched you pull the trigger believing it wouldn’t hurt
And I heard his first secret
Her.
And in a second I felt a mass exodus occur, all my hope and happiness leaving
You trusted me with the most painful information, who you really loved
And I know, it’s trust, so it's better than nothing…
But it's hard when your friend who won a contest she never cared for
And what a twist that was!
To see YOU rejected, of all people.
And yet you still chased her, telling me it was hopeless to do so, but doing it anyway
Similar to me, huh?
But let it never be said I was angry at her
No, not a bit! She is a friend after all, and a good one at that
The occasional jealous twinge creeps in but it is usually silenced
But sometimes not, “You can’t ever care for him the way I do,” I tell myself
Sometimes I feel I should state my feelings plainly
But how could I ruin such a wonderful friendship!?
“It’s because we’re both water signs so… we have to be slow in nature,” I lie to myself
But I think we all know I’m just a coward
But even though I feel as though I could never get you
I still want you to know, I’d do anything for you
I’d commit sins that would make the devil himself blush
If only you ask
I’d go to the ends of the Earth for you
I’d only hope that you’d accompany me on the way
And I’d dash any dream of mine, any goal gone
If only once you would show an affection towards me
But until I become courageous
Or until you decide to look elsewhere
Or when some glorious god on high decides to end or save me
I’ll be here whenever you want to talk.
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