Tic tic tic

My anxiety is a clock

Fast

Slow

Everything is offbeat

Like when the audio and video aren’t synched up

When the explosion happens but everything is waiting

Waiting for the impact

A tornado without noise

A silent movie

A thousand isolated conversations happening at once and I can 

Hear

Every

Word

Tic tic tic

My anxiety is a symphony

Tremolo at pianissimo

Always there

But sometimes it will crescendo 

The tempo will speed up The symphony will approach forte They all pull the bow faster against the strings Faster and Faster and Faster and Faster and Every single orchestra member will hit their strings The vibrations with collide They all Speed Up Timing is Everything and Timing is Fast and then

An explosion of noise

Fortississimo

A searing light of sound

Blinding everything

Before simmering at a pianissimo once again

Tic tic tic

My temper is a bomb

The slightest spark

The flint and stone rub over and over

And it’s inferno will quickly flare

But my anxiety

One breath and I will freeze

An ice statue

Unable to move

But will shatter at the slightest touch

Everything 

Must

Stay 

Still

Tic tic tic

My anxiety overwhelms me

It takes over

Everything needs a solution

But every solution has issues

It won’t let me find answers, only problems and problems and problems to be solved

But I can’t solve them

And no one else can either

My anxiety won’t allow it

And it won’t go away until it’s fixed

Until its unfixable situation is fixed

Until then everything else can wait

This is urgent

Tic tic tic

My anxiety is a theif

It steals my breath

It steals my body

It steals my mind

It pickpockets it away without me knowing

The art of misdirection at its hand

I look at the disaster and suddenly

Suddenly everything has been stolen

And I am no longer my own

Tic tic tic

My anxiety is me

A part of me

It grows

Like the hulk

Only one thing on its mind

As it consumes me head to toe

But it is only a part of me

And I will control it

Tic

Tic

Tic