The Mind That Lies 

My sister says I am beautiful. 
The mirror says I could lose a few pounds. 
 
My mom says that I am glowing. 
My eyes say my skin could be clearer. 
 
My teacher says I am talented. 
I know that I am not. 
 
My therapist says I am so strong. 
I feel like I could collapse at any moment. 
 
The self helps books say I am enough, 
so why do I feel so worthless? 
 
I am incapable of believing them, 
I am incapable of trusting what they say. 
 
No one has called me ugly, 
but I would believe them if they did . 
 
No one has said I am not beautiful, 
but I would finally trust them if they did. 
 
But no one has said these things to me, 
no one has said the words to make me feel this worthless.  
 
It is my own mind that tortures me,  
my own mind holding me back from the joy of self-love. 
 
It is my mind that tells itself it is not enough, 
my brain tells itself it is worse than the rest. 
 
I know these statements hold no validity. 
These statements come with no proof to back them up. 
 
Yet I still look in the mirror every morning wishing I looked different, 
wishing I looked like the girls in my grade 
 
The perfect girls who never feel like I feel right now, 
the girls who love everything about their appearance. 
 
Or are these girls also tricked by their own mind? 
Do these girls also believe the same shallow statements ? 
 
Do we all put ourselves down,  
just to put ourselves down? 
 
Critique every part of our own physical being  
because we believe others are doing the same to us . 
 
My dad says he loves my music, 
that listening to me brings him joy. 
 
My brain tells me he is lying, 
that no one could love how I sound. 
 
I don’t want to believe this. 
I don’t want to trust my own mind for it is lying to me. 
 
I want to love how I look. 
I want to love who I am. 
 
But if I can’t trust my own mind then what can I trust? 
How can I break free from the lies told only by my own mind? 
 
How can my brain be both the captor – and the captive? 
How can someone escape a cage they built around themself? 
 
This cage I’ve built around myself can only be opened by me, 
to take a part all the lies I’ve accepted as truth one piece at a time. 
 
Maybe it is true that I don’t look like the girls in my grade, 
but I will not let my mind twist that to say I am not beautiful.