I feel I am lost

I feel that everything I know has been stripped away

I tried to tell them, I tried to warn them

But they never listen

Dont they know how long it took me to find my voice

To find the courage to tell them what happened

Instead, they take away my voice and tell everyone I’m unstable

And when it happens again they claim not to know

Every day I feel as if a million eyes are upon me,

I can feel their breaths upon my neck

The thoughts they think, but never speak

Are even louder in the quiet room

I sink deeper into my own thoughts and emotions

I hate this body I’m in,

It has been tainted and ruined

Who could love me now

People say I’ll get over it when I’m older

But will I?

Or will the pain continue to grow, eating me alive?

Maybe I won't get older, maybe this is where it ends

What would they say if I took my life away?

Who would care if I took my last breath?

How will I ever be able to move on?

When will I be at peace?

Or will the ghost of them linger on my skin driving me mad

But I’m not crazy

I don’t need to be fixed

I just need… I don’t know.

I don't know anything anymore

I don’t even know who to trust

I should have seen it coming

I shouldn't have trusted them

Instead, here I lay

Not moving, not eating, and not drinking

What’s the point anyway

No one cared enough to help me, so why would they care now?

I’m told I was a victim 

But I feel like I did something wrong

Something to make them do what they did

Maybe I am crazy

They took away my voice and told everyone I’m unstable

They don’t know how long it took me to find my voice

To find the courage to say what happened

But they never listen

For I am lost