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I am a liar
Why do I lie? Why do I lie that am alright?
While all I want to do is unalive myself.
I tell myself not to break apart
for all those people who are on the verge of breaking.
This unknown feeling that I am chosen,
I am chosen to be the one to help them.
But is it fair? I tell them death is not a damn option.
While all I want is for death to pull me into her cold embrace.
I put on a smiling face, act all high,
convincing people everyday that am alright.
Why do I lie?
Can't people see am trying hard?
Trying hard to live so they donot die.
I keep putting on an act again and again.
Why?
Because that way I find a reason not to break.
Once I break, I will remain unfixed
Because I would not be here
just my remnants.
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I usually tell people that all my poems are generalised meaning I donot particularly have to relate to them but this one poem is about me. Being the therapist friend is not easy especially when you are already broken. People mistake you to be very happy and cheerful, they think your problems donot matter because you seem happy all the time. But is that really the case? Helping each and every person that comes my way makes me happy and content but what hurts is that they think that I donot have anything to cry about. My dad also suffers from depression and helping him out, bearing with him and hearing him out as his child is not easy on me while I suffer fighting my own battles in silence.