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Safe
Scared to go to to sleep
Scared to make a peep
I just heard a noise in the ceiling
I think someone is listening to me
Watching me
I have PTSD
Scared to breathe
Scared to let the air come out my mouth
And let it be snatched in an instant
My heart beats like a snare in my chest
My eyes stare at the space a few inches from my face
My peripheral vision seems to be playing tricks on me
Did I just see someone looking in my window
I can’t blink not even for a second
Or else they could get in here
They could climb in through the window and kill me and my family
My brother across the hall
My mother downstairs
No one to help
No one who cares
Don’t let your guard down
You need to keep them safe
They’re counting on you
To keep them safe
Make sure you keep them safe
It’s your job to keep them safe
CW: panic attacks, PTSD, death
I wrote this on a windy night while I was having a panic attack. I'm sorry if this triggers anybody. It was helpful for me to put this into writing and then close my computer to forget about it.