my hero

my protector

i love him 

i hate him

the man who used to be my biggest supporter 

is now the man who always reminds me that i can never do anything right

we used to laugh together

we used to smile together

and now

he yells and i frown

his harsh words coming gown on me like huge waves in the ocean

i start drowning in the pool of rude words

i start drowning in my tears

he yells once again

he says i'm weak

we no longer laugh together 

and both of our smiles fade when we're together

i try

i try not to disappoint him

i try to be enough

it isn't enough

he does not need to say it

its hidden underneath all of his hurtful words

its hidden underneath the stench of alcohol

the alcohol stole him

the alcohol stole my hero

the alcohol stole my protector 

the alcohol stole my biggest supporter 

it will always be

alcohol over me.