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Metathesiophobia
Chapter 18 - I can’t get myself to turn the page.
I’ve become accustomed to the past chapters,
Memorized the lines.
I’ve never read past Chapter 17.
Can’t I just go back?
Then there’s nothing to worry about.
The new vocabulary,
New characters,
New setting…
What if I don’t like the new characters?
Can I go back to my old favorites?
I don’t think I’m ready.
The words are completely foreign to me in the next chapter.
I don’t know what to expect.
The redesign of the pages doesn’t sit right.
I feel rushed -
Like suddenly I have forgotten how to read.
All of the words become one big one -
Fear.
The smell of the pages is unfamiliar,
The feeling of emptiness engulfs me.
I can’t shake it.
Chapter 18 - I can’t get myself to turn the page.
But it is inevitable,
I have to.
I turn the page and begin to sound out each syllable.
The smell of the pages raises the hair on my arms.
I finish the first page and catch my breath.
The book has barely started.
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I wote this conceit in light of going to college. I don't like change and don't want to accept the next chapter. In the end, I am going to have to. Which is something I am struggling with currently, but I know I will overcome.