girl gets tired of getting asked out,
girl just wants to know a guy who only sees her as a friend,
girl is one of those girls —
the kind that get so loved it makes them sick,
learn to spit it back up,
acid climbing up their throat,
staining their
pretty          white          teeth.
 
im not like those girls,
i don’t just get loved —
found that word looking through
a merriam webster dictionary
when i was trying to find
loss, the only word,
people in my life decided to show me,
i was only worth a couple years
of their time,
before          they         got    tired.
 
everyone i know gets tired
because im too much or
because im too little
but mostly just because
i        don’t ever fit      right  next to     them.
 
tired of me being their filler,
while they waited for someone better to come along,
someone    they actually     love.
 
so while those girls empty their stomachs in the bathroom sink—
i get told to try a little harder,
if you wanna be loved
you have to get loveable first,
because nobody falls for
girls like me,
the-not-pretty-girls,
the-too-much-for-people-girls,
the-just-not-my-type girls.
 
but it’s easy if you’re born
from two parents who actually want you,
have a person you can name who hasn’t left you,
and you get looked at like that—
the way people look at you like
you’re the only thing that matters
and you’re not just a person anymore
you’re a dream like
dream split from fantasy and reality and wish and hope
and i guess what im trying to say is
you’re the kind of dream
people                 will   never stop   chasing.
 
so let me ask you,
what’s it like to have someone
tell you you’re not unlovable,
and    to      actually     have  proof?