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Lonely and Little
i look straight into the eyes on the littered coffee cup
and eventually let myself wander focus
the rolling plain hills of union city
have me wondering if
the population of the town is
made up of cardboard cutouts
it doesn’t feel human to live
in the suburbs
if i ate pistachios
i’d definitely talk about how my thumb
rests perfectly in its shell
i have the whole bart car to myself
which means i can curl into a ball
in the center
and let the train rock me across its sides
when we walk up and down the streets
of my upbringing
the houses look haunted
but that is because younger me is not in the window
waving hello
i put my new body on during the weekend
i’m a party in the dark
i’m a party when i’m with one person
when the makeup wipes off
when the teeth get brushed
i am a baby
cold and dumb
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This piece was written during a low point of my sophomore year, when I was feeling young and unaware.