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Writing to me
Writing is intimate
You bare yourself
Your naked
Nothing is covering you
You don’t have a barrier to protect to yourself
Nothing to hide
Shadows come to light
Dirty little secrets are shared
Your views
Your urges
Your fears
Your thoughts
Thoughts that no one knows but you know
Then you perform your worst fears
Fears no one knows
It becomes scary
You scare yourself with your thoughts
If you stutter
If you cry
If you stumble
If you feel like you are going to die
The hope they will understand
Anxiety takes over
Words don't feel like words
Words have feelings
Every word has a new sensation
Love makes my stomach ache
Pain makes my chest hurt
Anger makes my eyes water
I start to cry
I start to shake
I feel numb
Almost as if i could not get hurt
Time is taking too long
I start to think
Do they understand me
Do they get my point
Will they understand where i come from
Do they understand what i’m saying
Instinct kicks in
Survival mode
Everything could be lost in one moment
Future is in thought
Hope to get praise
Hope your words will transform
Transform to a movement
Transform to a point
Transform to fact
Transform to another view that is accepted
Then fear kicks in
I’m silent
I think of how I should speak with confidence
I think of how i should speak as if i know
As if I know this truth
As if I know how to act
Or know something no one knows
But if you ask me I will answer with truth
I know nothing
There is so much unoun
I just view thoughts differently
But i know no unoun
I don’t speak with confidence
And i am scared
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