Kristina killed herself on July 27th, 2003.
Of course, I was little then I didn't remember her much...but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt.
We had to watch a video about suicide in school a few weeks ago, and that's when I was reminded.
A picture of Kristy came up in the video, stating when she committed suicide and why.
It hurt. A lot.
You think I wanted to be reminded of that?
Do you think that I was trying to forget that for my OWN sake?
Well, yes, I half-heartedly was, but she stayed with me forever.
But one of the hardest parts of that video was something that wasn't what was happening inside it.
It was the whispers from the back of the room.
"Wow! She's so pretty!"
"I know! Why would she do that?"
"I don't know...she looks so nice and perfect and pretty!"
"Why would anyone make fun of HER?"
STOP.
All the statements and comments floated around in my head, waiting anxiously to be set free.
"May I please be excused?" I ask, holding back tears.
The teacher nods yes and I wander into the girls' bathroom to collect myself.
I look in the mirror and I realize I'm crying.
"I miss her," I whisper.
"I miss Kristy," I think to myself.
Her pictures lay in my room, and I remember her saying hello to me, and her coming to our house.
She had killed herself because she was called "fat" and "ugly" even though she was the most perfect and prettiest girl I ever knew.
It doesn't matter now, though.
She's gone. She made a mistake that cannot be fixed.
She took her own life.
The only good thing that came from her death was this:
I now have a guardian angel to stay with me forever and guide me with her invisible footsteps.