I almost killed my friend in 4th grade. I didn’t know she was allergic, I swear. Let me explain what happened.

My parents had gone to the store one day and came back with a bunch of groceries, of course, but snacks too. One of the snacks they bought was this dip with crackers to go with them. I loved when they came back from the store with extra stuff. It meant they would give me some to try. I ghosted around them as they put the food away and waited for the taste test of whatever they had. My mom offered me the cracker and told me to add the dip, but was adamant about not disclosing the details of what it was. It was a pale substance with a lot of chunky pieces and specs of red and pink. As I chewed and analyzed the texture, I realized it was crab. I don't know if it was imitation crab or not but it was good. Really good. So good, in fact, that I put them in a bag and brought it to school so other people could try it.

I sat in my classroom for lunch and pulled out the bag with the crackers and gathered all my friends. I told each one to take a cracker and dip it but didn’t tell them what was in it, the same way my mom gave it to me. I was so excited to see their reactions. Their taste buds were gonna explode and their stomachs would thank them for offering such a wonderful snack. They finally popped the big question but the excitement and suspense was fun to toy around with so I just told them to guess. 

“I don’t know.”

“Yeah I don’t know either.”

“Is it chicken?”

Ugh, all of these unenthusiastic and embarrassingly wrong answers. 

“So none of you taste crab?” I finally asked.

“OH MY GOD I’M ALLERGIC!”

Come again? Allergic?

My 4th grade class was full of people with allergies and health issues. Nuts, dairy, and chocolate, and every other person had asthma. I thought I had it all down pat with who couldn’t have what food. I wasn’t informed about this one. Why didn’t anyone tell me? Did everyone else know but me? Am I a bad friend? Oh my god is she gonna die?!

My other friends were also panicking and blaming me for giving her that cracker, but not nearly as much as me.

“Are you gonna be okay? Do you have to go to the hospital or something?” I asked in a frantic state. 

We had to tell the teacher and she went to call her mom to figure out if she needed to go home or anything. While all of her stuff was being sorted out with the teacher and the phone call with her mom, I was extremely uncomfortable because all I wanted was to share something that my parents had given me and give them the same reaction that I had. Not only did they not like it as much as I did, but I almost killed my friend in the process. She didn’t need to leave since her allergy wasn’t severe, but I was still scared out of my mind. 

The teacher came over to me and said that I wasn’t allowed to share food unless I say what’s in it. I could’ve figured that out on my own, my main concern was putting my friend's life in jeopardy. How could I have done that? All of this stress and fear just because I wanted to surprise people that didn't even have the reaction I wanted them to have? I guess I was too absorbed in my own excitement to even consider that it could hurt someone else in the process.