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Never Said Goodbye
My eyes filled with tears as I tried to sweep my long, brown hair out of my face. I could barely stand. I had tried to get up and wipe the tears away, but I wasn’t strong enough. The loss of someone so close left me shaken. When I heard the words, “Aunt Ginger is dead,” I fell. I could only see your image when I closed my eyes: your beautiful red hair flowing past your shoulders, your brown eyes sparkling with joy, and your smile lighting the lives of those who had seen it. The image disappeared as fast as it had appeared, reminding me you were no longer there.
For days, I always found myself thinking about you, and all the memories we had. You were the aunt I was closest with, the aunt that was always there in a heartbeat. It’s funny to think that the people who mean so much can be gone within seconds, and it hurts. Never had I felt that kind of pain before. I was mad, and upset, all at the same time. There’d be times were I randomly broke out crying, or, where all I wanted to do was scream. I’d push people out of my way, yelling at them, when all they wanted to do was talk. I had no idea how to control the emotions I was feeling, they were too overwhelming.
Then, there were times I’d lock myself in my room, not letting anybody in. I would listen to music and just cry, missing every second that I had spent with you. To me, you were an angel, and God needed you to go back home. This helped me cope with the idea that you were gone just a little easier, but nothing could stop me from missing you, from wishing that you were there with me at that very second.
Now, I have all the stuffed animals you had. They are currently sitting on my bed, only leaving it when it’s time for me to go to bed. I always make sure that I have one to sleep with though, because it’s then that I feel like you never left. That’s what assures me everything is going to be ok, that you’re in a better place now. They help bring back the memories I had once shared with you. They remind me of how soft you were, and how you were always there to comfort anyone in a hear-t beat.
I could never forget the day I had found out you had passed away, no matter how hard I had tried. Like you, that day is a memory I could never let go off. That day was so unexpected, just as you were with the little tricks you always loved to play. Now, a few years later, I’m able to accept the fact that you are gone. I now realize that I rather have you pass away, then to continue living a life that only caused you pain. I will never forget you, nor will I ever forget the times we had shared, good, and bad.
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