A girl who needed a role model,


A girl who grew up to fast only because she had to,


A girl who lived in a torn home,


A little girl that just needed her daddy.



You know Janelle whenever God decides for you to enter my life I want you to read this. Read this when you're older so that you'll be able to comprehend why I have made the decisions that I have made for you. The countless times I said no you'll finally know why. It was only because I wanted what was best for you. When you come into my world I promise that I'll be there for you and listen closely to the things you have to tell me. I promise to always take care of the things you need and give you the things you want. I promise to raise you in a loving home where me and your dad love each other and love you. I promise to raise you differently then the way that I was raised.


When I was younger I can't say that it was all bad. Your grandma always gave us what we wanted. Buying us everything from the new Michael Kors purse to a new North Face. Grandpa was there but then again he really wasn't there. I'd wake up and see him leaving to work ;not expecting to see him until the next morning. You see Janelle my dad wasn't a "family man". I remember never seeing him because he'd always be with his friends; Lord only knows what he was doing. I remember staying up for him and waiting until he came home. As the clock striked 3am he came in with an unsteady balance and his words slurring. My dad had a problem. We all knew it but everyone was too afraid to admit it. That's what I meant by "he was there but then again he really wasn't". I'm sometimes always mad and bitter because everyone that I know lives in a home where fighting rarely occurs, where the only thing that those kids have to worry about is to study for the big chemistry test, they don't wonder "is this the last day I'll see my dad?". I blame my parents for why I'm always stressed and worried. When you come into my life I won't pile all my problems onto you, I won't expect you to raise your younger sibling or even have you worry about your father and I being together. You're going to have the childhood that I wish that I could have had. I grew up way too fast Janelle and I blame my parents for it but pointing fingers does no good. Instead when I have you I'll learn from all of this and make a change. I promise that I'll be your doctor, your hair stylist, your biggest fan, your supporter but most importantly I'll be your mom.