Name Essay

Charles or Thayer? The question that has riddled my brain since the moment I figured I was both.

Sometimes, I wish that ‘Thayer’ wasn’t my name. It doesn’t make much sense as a first name, and while it's unique, it's so unique that no one has ever even heard of it.

Charles is a more common name, ‘Charlie’ for short. All the while Thayer is forgotten, a sort of forbidden fruit. its syllables distinctive from any other, a plethora of colors hidden behind a dark yet luscious wall of greenery. It is a name that many know, yet no one calls me. 

Somehow, my parents managed to make my first name Thayer, yet call me something derived from my middle name. What is the point in naming me one thing and calling me another? Creating a name is a crucial matter; it shapes who your child may become.

Thayer was the last name of my mother’s grandparents, and before them that of Silvanious Thayer, who founded West Point. It is a throwback into history, formality, and my family tree. To me, it means that there exists a large pair of shoes to fill— and I have to find how to do that.

‘Charles’ is my grandfather’s middle name. Although lacking luster I carry it on and enjoy it; it allows me to fit in with everyone else rather than standing out. People know it, which is good, yet, compared to the unique, unparalleled piece of art that my real name is, it is an apple to the great fruit of the other. Its still okay, enjoyable, but more bland.

Yet, there comes a point where I will have to choose between the two.

‘Thayer’ is a piece of me that carries behind hundreds of years of past and tradition, and adds self worth. But  ‘Charlie’ is who I am, and has been for 16 years..

I acknowledge that my parents named me with the intention of uniqueness and value in my name, and for that I thank them. For now, I intend on sticking with what I’ve got, and maybe one day far in the future I will own up to my semi intended real name.