My name originates from a river, whose name in Hebrew is Yarden. The name of the river descends from another word, yarad, meaning to flow down or descend. It is like the smooth, disciplined flow of a river’s tributaries. It means a second chance. A happy color. The color of sunlight as it reflects off of the river on a sunny day, tain.

It was the name of the river that Jesus was baptized in, and it has traveled to me. He was the son of God. He used his immense power to give humanity salvation. At one point, he was present on Earth, but he was sent back to heaven by our own foolish ignorance. The Bible states that he will return to raise the dead and restore balance to the world—to give that second chance.

Jesus’s path on Earth was obstructed with trials and prejudices. He struggled to save a society where few people believed in him. His words fell on the deaf ears, which led to his death. Along his path was the Yarden river, more familiarly known as the Jordan river. Because Yarden can translate to Jordan, Jordan can also mean “to flow.” I love Jesus. But I do not wish to follow the same treacherous path.

My name is the wall of my bedroom, adorned with colors of inspiration and bliss like an open field . The many windows we have catch plenty of the sunlight. It is the two puppies I have running around inside, curious and with energy that never ceases. One is black. The other is white. They are opposites in personality but both love attention and love to sleep. It brings warmth and calming.

No one has ever known me as anything but Jordan. Jordan is so simple and perfectly adaptable that not even gender could constraint it. My name holds the most significance in Catholicism. Its letters compose the murals and stained glass surrounding the church. It sends light and puts life into the colorful flowers of summer fields. It is within the horses that roam those fields, wild but well-controlled.

I will keep the name Jordan. I will make my own story for this name, separate from all other adventures. People can believe what they want to. What this name really means is up to me.